Too Good Not To Share

Somewhere along the line, I decided I wanted to be alone. That it would be the best and worst thing to happen to me, but through the experience of it, I would try to learn something.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered that the most powerful loneliness is to be in the midst of people and to feel alone. That loneliness isn't physical proximity, but emotional disconnect.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered that I never quite learn my lesson.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered that I have a self-destructive tendencies, sometimes to make life interesting and sometimes simply out of self-deprivation and martyrdom.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered that life happens when you're not worrying about it or thinking about it.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered it's not always better to have love and lost if the loss really only happened on one side.

Somewhere along the line, I both lost myself and found myself.

Somewhere along the line, I realized how right I was all along and how wrong I was. How right everyone else was, and how wrong they were. But mostly how right they were.

Last night, I realized I was wrong, and I'm living like a decision was never made. That prolonging the decision is the best way to come to a decision. That in holding out, I can cave in, that in going, I can stay.

In talking, I can say nothing at all, and in staying quiet, I can speak volumes.

I am a walking contradiction, but at the very least, I make sense to myself.